Post by Ember on Apr 3, 2009 7:19:57 GMT -6
So, my composition teacher has us all doing a poetry project, and we have to write ten different poems that showcase a certain poetic element. I've 4 complete ones, and one incomplete, but I'd like some feedback, please.
The name of the poem and the element are bolded and centered.
By the way, my theme is nature, so all of my poems (except for the narrative) have to do with nature. Huzzah!
Fell
Repetition
Through the luscious treetops,
With a mighty screech, the hawk
Fell.
Its prey spotted, the mighty hawk dove,
The rush of wind
Tugging with a gentle flap
As the hawk glided softly, silently.
Rushing towards its timid prey, it
Fell.
Nearing the ground,
Silently sweeping though the sky,
He dives.
Reaching his quarry, he twists his talons,
Preparing for the moment when his prey will
Feel the sharp spears.
Talons against flesh, his quarry
Fell.
Lurking, silently, swiftly,
Through the forest of Night,
Prowls the mighty hunter.
The majestic, proud, and cunning
Hunter of the Night
With a prowess none can match,
His blazing coat the color of the sun
Streaked with the shadows of the night,
His ivory claws sparkling maliciously in the moonlight
He stalks unchallenged.
Sparkling, glittering drops
Of water fall,
With an aura of purpose
They glide, feeling tall.
Sighing gently,
as they slowly reach their goal
Taking their time as they prance to earth,
Simply taking a relaxing stroll.
Anxiety gnawed at me
As I entered the room.
Chairs, lined up in neat rows
Glared silently as I gazed.
A neat row of nine chairs
Spelled out the task at hand
On the board behind them,
Our name for all to see
"Charleston County School of the Arts"
That was me.
Slipping behind the table,
I waited for my teammates.
Nick and Emily came forth,
Surveying the room as well.
When all teams had come,
we took our seats
The job once again made clear,
Lest we forget once again,
That we were on a quest,
The quest for victory.
Buzzers stared us down
As we waited for it to begin
The other teams silently came in
Not quite meeting anyone's eye.
“We’re early,” I heard a judge mutter
And suppressing a sigh,
I knew that we were going to be here
For quite a long time.
Keeping myself occupied,
I tried to swallow the unease.
As soon as I had done so,
Many people that I knew
Filed into the room,
Giving the team a smile.
Minutes crept by slowly,
Doing their best to drive us mad,
Until finally, the MC announced
“We might as well get started.”
As I glanced over at my teammates,
I saw that they were tense and ready.
Question by question flew by,
Points won and lost,
My hand never left the buzzer,
Nor did my mind wander.
At last I looked at the board,
Delighted to see
We were ahead, ahead,
By enough points to win.
Our quest was won,
Victory was ours.
I stole a glance to my teammates,
Who were oblivious to the news,
So I said softly, between questions,
“We’re going to win.”
That moment was priceless,
One I shall never forget,
That look on their faces
As they slowly turned to the screen
And realized that yes,
Victory was ours.
(Ok, the QUEST for victory is not done. QUEST is an academic competition with buzzers, you have to answer questions and buzz in with your team mates, etc. I'm going to go back and change it so that all of the first lines in each stanza rhyme or something...)
The name of the poem and the element are bolded and centered.
By the way, my theme is nature, so all of my poems (except for the narrative) have to do with nature. Huzzah!
Fell
Repetition
Through the luscious treetops,
With a mighty screech, the hawk
Fell.
Its prey spotted, the mighty hawk dove,
The rush of wind
Tugging with a gentle flap
As the hawk glided softly, silently.
Rushing towards its timid prey, it
Fell.
Nearing the ground,
Silently sweeping though the sky,
He dives.
Reaching his quarry, he twists his talons,
Preparing for the moment when his prey will
Feel the sharp spears.
Talons against flesh, his quarry
Fell.
Perspective
Concrete Poem
AT
the top
of a mountain,
the world seems immense,
and one may fancy that all the
land they see is their own, on which
they may do whatever they please. But, pray tell,
is the world any different, no matter where you stand?
For surely it is only a simple but unavoidable matter of perspective.
Concrete Poem
AT
the top
of a mountain,
the world seems immense,
and one may fancy that all the
land they see is their own, on which
they may do whatever they please. But, pray tell,
is the world any different, no matter where you stand?
For surely it is only a simple but unavoidable matter of perspective.
Hunter of the Night
Imagery
Imagery
Lurking, silently, swiftly,
Through the forest of Night,
Prowls the mighty hunter.
The majestic, proud, and cunning
Hunter of the Night
With a prowess none can match,
His blazing coat the color of the sun
Streaked with the shadows of the night,
His ivory claws sparkling maliciously in the moonlight
He stalks unchallenged.
Rain
Personification
Personification
Sparkling, glittering drops
Of water fall,
With an aura of purpose
They glide, feeling tall.
Sighing gently,
as they slowly reach their goal
Taking their time as they prance to earth,
Simply taking a relaxing stroll.
QUEST for Victory
Narrative Poem
Narrative Poem
Anxiety gnawed at me
As I entered the room.
Chairs, lined up in neat rows
Glared silently as I gazed.
A neat row of nine chairs
Spelled out the task at hand
On the board behind them,
Our name for all to see
"Charleston County School of the Arts"
That was me.
Slipping behind the table,
I waited for my teammates.
Nick and Emily came forth,
Surveying the room as well.
When all teams had come,
we took our seats
The job once again made clear,
Lest we forget once again,
That we were on a quest,
The quest for victory.
Buzzers stared us down
As we waited for it to begin
The other teams silently came in
Not quite meeting anyone's eye.
“We’re early,” I heard a judge mutter
And suppressing a sigh,
I knew that we were going to be here
For quite a long time.
Keeping myself occupied,
I tried to swallow the unease.
As soon as I had done so,
Many people that I knew
Filed into the room,
Giving the team a smile.
Minutes crept by slowly,
Doing their best to drive us mad,
Until finally, the MC announced
“We might as well get started.”
As I glanced over at my teammates,
I saw that they were tense and ready.
Question by question flew by,
Points won and lost,
My hand never left the buzzer,
Nor did my mind wander.
At last I looked at the board,
Delighted to see
We were ahead, ahead,
By enough points to win.
Our quest was won,
Victory was ours.
I stole a glance to my teammates,
Who were oblivious to the news,
So I said softly, between questions,
“We’re going to win.”
That moment was priceless,
One I shall never forget,
That look on their faces
As they slowly turned to the screen
And realized that yes,
Victory was ours.
(Ok, the QUEST for victory is not done. QUEST is an academic competition with buzzers, you have to answer questions and buzz in with your team mates, etc. I'm going to go back and change it so that all of the first lines in each stanza rhyme or something...)
